Toned Tom
by slenderpanda597
Summary: Serena never knew the world of dating apps was so intense. Raf and Fletch did.


(a/n – loosely inspired by a prompt about Bernie sending pics of her fingers to Serena over on berenaprompts because I am a sucker for secret!Berena and background!Flaf alright? Excellent.)

Toned Tom

Serena Campbell liked to think she was virtually unflappable. Calm, collected, cool head under pressure. Yes indeed, she was unflappable. But how was she to know that the world of dating apps was so intense?

It had started as a bit of a joke and a way to appease her daughter. Sign up to the one which looked the least dodgy and most simple to use, then never look at it again. Daughter happy in the belief that her mother was out looking for love once more. Serena happy because daughter is happy. That was the plan, anyway. But then after a lonely night in with shepherd's pie and Shiraz as her only company, could she be blamed for opening it up after Robbie sent her a less-than-welcome message? No she could not.

It turned out she could alter her preferences as she saw fit. And, even better, she thought, she could explore the entire field. Not just men. So what if she hadn't had a dalliance with a woman since that party in Stepney nearly fifteen years ago? She still found women attractive, as proven very recently in fact by the arrival on the ward of the magnificent, otherworldly, push-me-against-the-filing-cabinet-and-take-me-now-Major-AHEM. Yes. Serena was confident in her attraction to both sexes, thank you.

Preferences set, it turned out there was a lot of people in the market of her age range. What a surprise. In fact, she discovered, she had quite a few messages from people already. Wow. She still had it. Upon opening the messages she discovered the genitals of several middle aged men from various angles and nearly spilt her wine down her top. It wasn't that she was unfamiliar or uncomfortable with the male anatomy, far from it. She just wasn't expecting, well, quite so many in one evening (and from so many angles – what on Earth was wrong with these men?!) After soundly dismissing them all (and telling Buff_Builder that he should probably pop along to his GP to show them his bits in a more professional setting as soon as possible), Serena decided to browse.

There were a couple of fairly decent looking men on there, far too many that had been patients and she was also pleasantly surprised to find there were a small number of women loving women in the Holby area. She dismissed some immediately. (White wine enthusiast? Looking for someone with room for two pugs? Why is her hair fourteen different colours at our age?) She then set about assessing the rest of her options. She laughed into her wine glass at the username Defined-Cheekbones and wondered if Jac Naylor was on the app. She clicked the profile and was disappointed to see the photo wasn't a full shot, just a pair of heels propped onto a coffee table. She thought about creating a way she could ask to see Jac's shoe collection then dismissed it. Towards the end of her options was TonedTom. It was certainly a unique username and the summary stated that the woman loved her job, her children and long distance running. Serena shrugged and clicked on the profile anyway. As the page loaded, she choked on her wine. She was not mistaken. Bernie Wolfe was most definitely the woman in the photo. Her heart hammered. Did she sent Bernie a message or like her profile? Would that be odd? A text message came through. Robbie. Again. Another two alerts from the dating app told her she had two new messages, and before she opened them she knew they would be more unwanted photos from men. Serena's thumb hovered over the button to message Bernie. She took a deep breath, and pressed it.

Who would have known that one message could lead to so much? It turned out Bernie's children had installed the app for her, choosing the name TonedTom as a reference to Bernie's good shape (apparently Cam thought that would get her more messages) and the word used for lesbians in some book Charlotte had read for her English course (Bernie herself had not yet opened the copy of Tipping The Velvet which her daughter had left on her bookshelf last time she visited). Bernie loved the username Elinor had picked for Serena (Dr-Shiraz) and was more than a bit surprised that Serena was in the women loving women market, as it were. It turned out that had she known that piece of information, she would never have needed the app. She would have invited Serena to dinner face to face. But, seeing as they were messaging in that moment, how did the vascular surgeon feel about a certain Italian restaurant the next evening?

Things got better from there. Serena and Bernie went on dates, flirted shamelessly and indulged in a more than adequate amount of sex. Serena was happy to say that her best friend and co-lead was absolutely stellar in the bedroom. Her home life had improved (take that Robbie) now that Bernie was spending more time with her there, and Serena liked to think the ward was benefiting too, even though they had not told anybody about their relationship, preferring to keep it a secret.

Bernie was a little surprised at the sheer volume of unwanted messages Serena still got through the app, so they decided to delete their profiles given the fact that they were both now firmly interested in one another (always had been, really). Serena jokingly then changed Bernie's name in her phone to Toned Tom.

After a few glasses of wine they were debating why men felt the need to send pictures of their genitals as a way of attracting partners. Then conversation moved onto what the female equivalent would be. The conversation was filled with drunken giggling and uncoordinated canoodling as the two decided that a photo of fingers would probably be the equivalent. After Serena drunkenly started to serenade Bernie's hands they decided it was probably time to head up to bed. And the topic was never visited again.

That is until Serena was working one shift which seemed to be going on forever. Bernie wasn't in and had offered to babysit the Fletchlings for the morning until it was their school holiday camp in the afternoon. Serena checked her phone after a difficult surgery and found a message off Bernie. A picture of her fingers coupled with one word: 'thoughts?' Serena laughed to herself and composed her reply. 'well, well. Quite the naughty texter ;)' She knew full well that the message was actually in reference to the sparkly purple nail varnish which the army medic had had smeared across her fingers by one of the children.

Well. The remainder of the day Serena spent raising her eyebrows at the various teasing picture messages Bernie sent her. More shots of Bernie's fingers from various angles. Bernie holding a bottle of wine on her lap, her fingers wrapped firmly around the neck. Serena sent flirty remarks back when she could but often that was not the case. As a trauma call came in, she left her phone on her desk and dashed off to meet the patient.

Fletch was going to drop some patient files in the consultants' office when he noticed Serena's phone pinging to life with alerts. Worried it could be Jason, he picked up the device, only to see that instead Serena had received multiple media messages off a 'Toned Tom.' His brow crinkled and he left the office to find Raf.

The Scottish registrar had been initially shocked at what Fletch told him, and asked what the pictures were of. Fletch had explained that he couldn't unlock Serena's phone to access them, but he was concerned. The two men pondered on the fact that Serena could be using a dating service of some sort, though they personally had no clue how they worked as they had no call for finding a man. They both blushed and smiled at one another as they agreed on that. Eventually, the two decided it would be best to try and glimpse the messages first before working out how to proceed.

When Serena had finished in theatre she went to the office and Fletch went and stood outside the window, pretending to be searching for some antibiotics on a trolley. As Serena opened up her message alerts Fletch gasped as she scrolled through what looked like several different photos which definitely were not workplace appropriate. Serena shook her head and put her phone back on the desk. Fletch returned to Raf.

Serena shook her head to try and clear her mind of the mental images the photos Bernie had sent were created. While she had been in theatre Bernie had sent a fair few as the Fletchlings had been dropped to their camp. A couple more of Bernie's fingers had been sent (with the nail varnish scrubbed off). But the most sensual picture of all had been a shot of Bernie's stomach, slightly sheened in sweat. Clearly taken after her daily workout. A certain high ranking army official would certainly be getting lucky that night, Serena thought. Serena decided that thought would spur her through the rest of the day. She was not planning on having the conversation she ended up having with Nurse Fletcher and Raf di Lucca.

Towards the end of her shift, Raf and Fletch both came into the office looking very serious indeed. She looked up at them from where she was putting her things into her bag and raised an eyebrow.

"Everything okay, gentlemen?"

"Actually, ah, we were going to ask you that." Fletch's face was bright red and the Scotsman beside him wasn't much better. Raf spoke up.

"We just wondered if you were happy. Because dating apps are meant to be good ways of meeting people, but, um. There's stories of men. Sending unwanted things. Pictures." Raf looked down at his toes.

"Yes gentlemen, I am fully aware of that thank you. Though why that should concern you I have no idea." Fletch's gaze darted around the room.

"Well you see Serena, I happened to see that you received a lot of messages off one fella, Tom I think. And I just wanna say that if you can't deal with it, then, we can. Man to man. Y'know?" Serena suddenly realised that there had been a massive misunderstanding and laughed out loud, making Raf and Fletch all the more confused.

"Thank you for your concern gentlemen, but I think I'm safe at the moment."

Serena's phone chose that moment to light up on the desk, signalling that she was being called by Toned Tom. She smiled and picked the phone up, placing it to her ear.

"Hello darling! Sorry, got waylaid… I'm just on my way out now… No I wouldn't miss our date for the world… Mmmmhmmm now when you put it like that maybe there is something I'd rather do…" Serena waved goodbye to a gobsmacked Raf and Fletch as she wandered down the corridor and into the lift.

As she left the hospital at the Wyvern Wing entrance, Serena made her way over to Bernie's convertible, roof open in the warm weather. Buckling her seatbelt, she turned to the woman beside her and smiled brightly.

"You'll never believe the conversation I've just been having, Bernie dearest…"

Meanwhile, in the stairwell, two men were leaning over the barrier to stare down at the ground below them. They saw Serena walk out, her scarf fluttering in the breeze and her phone now down by her handbag. She made her way over to a grey Mazda convertible parked by the side of the road. Climbing in, the men watched as their boss slid her hand under the thigh of the driver, clearly visible to them given the roof of the car was down.

The two men looked at one another, then looked back down as the car pulled away from the curve and the two people in it laughed at something. Looking back at one another as the pieces fell into place the two men spoke at the same time.

"Bernie Wolfe?!"

(a/n – just a silly little thing really to try and keep my muse going. Do tell me your thoughts.)


End file.
